EVER

With all the conflict going on about large families I figured I would at last release my long awaited opinion. With all the toil and sacrifice that comes from a large family there is equal or greater benefits which I will explain here.

Household Benefits:

Sometimes people obtain puppies while overlooking the fact that they will soon grow very large, expensive and destructive. While animals are often depreciating in value, children are the opposite as we will see in the next paragraph. Instead of getting old and gross, toddlers yield the "cute" period and then increase in value. Th older children get, the more independent they get. In addition they can perform increasingly useful tasks to make up for the younger kids. This factor ultimately makes raising children more efficient in bulk.

Financial Benefits:

You may find it ironic to think that there are financial benefits to raising large families, but It's true. Little children may be expensive and quite a hassle at first but it's important to remember that each one is a little insurance policy to be reaped later. Also, once children get to a certain point they can provide small (but not fiat) bailouts from time to time.

In addition to these progressive ideas, there's always the reasons you've heard before like feeling the love of family unity and all that great stuff.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Chunky or Creamy?

For a long time now, the heated Peanut Butter Crusade has been going on, and today I'll be taking a logical approach to find which one is better. Firstly, creamy has a smooth, uniform texture which is why people favor it over crunchy, however this makes it 100% made up of the synthetic, processed "Butter" portion. Creamy lacks any actual "Peanuts" while Crunchy harbors the Butter portion along with real peanuts. Next is a contest of Authenticity. Peanut butter can be compared to other food in general in that it is considered more genuine when in a solid state. Creamy peanut butter closely resembles astronaut carrot paste while Crunchy is the equivalent of steak and potatoes. People often forget the very fundamental principle of Food Abstracta, being that the virtue of an abstract food is relative to how close it is to the original food base. Thus we see that while the best name a manufacturer can think of for a food is "Fruit Drink Product" or "Creamy Peanut Butter" the food is obviously synthetic and therefore in a crude and unhealthy state. If a food can boast a name such as "Crunchy peanut butter", or "Fresh Organic Vegetables" then it is at or near the original state of the original food and is therefore more genuine. Any one who thinks their theory can best mine, go ahead and step up, but don't forget your notes and references.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

MP3 Etiquette

Lately I have been seeing some horrific things regarding MP3 etiquette, but since you have likely never been taught these principles, I will go over it now. There is a common misconception among teens that people who listen to MP3 players in public, or on social occasions are called cool. In reality, these people are called "MP3 monster baby losers". I find it absurd that some people think this is acceptable during events such as family reunions, church meetings, or at school. There are two categories of this offense, the first being less serious and in fact optional includes listening on occasions such as while walking between classes at school. This may not be directly offensive, but it is always totally unnecessary and wasteful. The second and greater offense is, of course listening during talks, lectures, or at social events where there are other human beings to interact with. I have often been accused of being reclusive and shy due to my homeschooling, but then I turn around and see "normal" people listening to MP3s around other people! There are times when this is acceptable however, such as at the gym, or when specifically showing a friend a song.

Another disturbing trend is listening to music at excessively high volume levels or without adequate sound insulation. You may enjoy listening to your music loud, but other people don't want to hear it. In fact, unless their musical preferences are similar, or yours are perfect, they might well find it annoying or offensive.

I will conclude by saying that I have often been accused of listening to radical music, but you will never see me forcing it on other people through mindless, selfish tune mongering. Furthermore, you will never find me in a million years ignoring other people or defiling the MP3 by listening at inappropriate times.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Pets in Relation to Money

In the past I have heard many stories about trips to the vet which were more expensive than the original pet. I know many will object to this, but that just doesn't seem logical. I can understand to a degree, based on the emotionally attachment to the animal, but spending more than three or four times the cost of the creature seems odd. In fact, there are times when it becomes more economical not even to feed pets. Thats right, to simply let it starve before buying a new one costs less money than the food, vaccinations, toys, recreational facilities, spas, wardrobe, etc. While this opinion may seem cruel, I admit I would sooner pay money to keep my current guitar instead of buying a new one.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Why I Am Homeschooled

If I had to sum up why I am homeschooled in a simple phrase it would be something like this: Because homeschooling is creamy, rich and has a good aftertaste. Quite likely, you're feeling like I've left you hanging. Such a simple explanation could only be snide. My education is being brewed in a way that's unconventional; actually it is only so when one bears in mind exclusively the last 150 years, but not if one considers the history of the world .

The lush, foamy texture of my erudition comes from the freedom of a flexible schedule and the beffitting structure of assignments. When those who are not of my educational background inquire as to this subject, I often see them quiver with effort to refrain from lashing out in open jealousy.

The flavor of my schooling is brought about by high quality ingredients. Being enrolled in a thing as bureaucratic as public school is like a musical career using an instrument produced with countless others on a highly regulated conveyor belt; and no, don't tell me that it works fine. In public school, political correctness is an anti-integration hinderence, and frankly, I see no reason to be without whatever weapons I see fit during study.

Finally, the taste that lingers after indulgence is far more saturating in the world of socialization than in oral consumption, and for it to be pleasing, is the the most intricate of luxuries. To be encompassed with company of good nature and active spirits (as often occurs with one who is homeschooled) is much more satisfying than to not.

I hope you have found this information useful, and I beg you to ask yourself again wether or not any arguments you may have are indeed relevant, given the information herein. Also I might add that Ralph Wiggum is in fact public schooled, and the picture was uploaded with the utmost sarcasm.